Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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