I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
