remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Be still, my beating vagina.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize