We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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