At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
