I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
