around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
