i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
