stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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