So drunk its hurt
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
