I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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