I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
