you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
