No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
