i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
