I like my sex mixed with concussions.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
