We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
