I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
