You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
