i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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