garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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