Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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