New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I think i got beer on your cat.
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