honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
