i barfeds in our rink
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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