His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
