My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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