Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We got so high we made milksteak
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
