I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
