Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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