You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
it was like eating out sand paper
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
