Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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