i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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