I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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