So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
