It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
