don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
