I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
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