RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
