We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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