is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
