Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
