yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
