hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
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