quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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