what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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