you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
