You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
