You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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