that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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