She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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