with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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