Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize