Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize