I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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