who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
