that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
