just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
