If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
