took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
