once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
there is glitter all over my balls
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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