Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
